Simple Forgotten Things

Posted in General on 05/19/2009

I think most everyone has a few forgotten memories or moments tucked away in parts of their brains. Sometimes though, something as simple as a color or a sound can bring them back. Today, I had three such moments of remembering.

1.) It’s the first time in 7 years I’ve been home while they put up silage for the cows. I had forgotten how loud the blower and the unloader are when running out in the field behind the house.

2.) The intoxicating smells of dirt, land, and humid air at dusk as the suns last golden rays shine on bluegrass.

3.) The giddy excitement that accompanies the arrival of the Kentucky State Fair entry book in the mail. The last year has not been the easiest and for the first time in even longer, I didn’t just remember, but felt the same joy I felt as a child and teen–long before I knew what real problems and heartbreak are. Moments like those seem to be so rare and fleeting in adulthood, and I’ve wondered so many times in recent years if I’d ever feel untainted joy again.

I know this is going to sound corny, but I remembered today what it’s like to feel completely happy. For me, and the mental and emotional place I’ve been in for so long now–haunted by demons of self-doubt and lack of self-confidence that have left me frozen at times, unable to believe in myself, and so disconnected from the person that I used to be that I wondered if I’d ever see that girl again–that’s a pretty big thing.

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Hello! Hi there! Welcome to my small little corner of the web where you'll find my blog, a tiny fanlistings collective, a fansite, and some other random assorted stuff. You are currently viewing version 4 of this site. This layout features the characters Josh Lyman and Donna Moss from NBC's The West Wing.
DRB. 32. Kentucky, but dreaming of moving to the Northeast or back to California. Daughter. Sister. Methodist. Unemployed Scientist. Caregiver for elderly grandmother. Democrat. Pro-choice. Loves Guernseys, San Francisco, and fried shrimp. Diet Dr. Pepper addict. Photoshop junkie. Likes cooking and making websites. Crushing Sam Jaeger. Still looking for Mr. Right. Just trying to be me.
Date: February 7, 2012
Feeling: Cranky
Eating: Nothing
Drinking: Sweet Tea
Watching: Local News
Listening: TV
Reading: Nothing
Working: Looking through job postings
Last Movie Seen: War Horse
Wishlist: A job that will let me actually use my PhD...
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Ally: Simply Passionate Leigh Ann: Precious Memories Liz: Something Insightful Veronica: When Boredom Sets In